Cold Fusion!!!! The World is Saved!!!!

People, I have done it, I have finally found prrof that cold fusion exists, essentially ending the world's energy crisis and saving humanity for suffering!  So... a cat just jumped on me.  Here I was minding my own business, preparing to fill in the world on my earth shattering scientific findings, when, boom, a baby african snow leopard attacked.  All of my instincts and training told me get into attack position, but I realized I had not stretched and I would be at serious risk of pulling a hammie.  So, change in plan, I kept minding my own business and waited for the beast to fall asleep.  While overall successful, unfortunately the ferocious monster collapsed on top of me.  So here I am, with this giant cat on top of me, unable to finish telling you the secrets of the world. 

Seriously though, where did this cat come from?  I dont even own a cat.  Wait, this isnt even my apartment...

Well hello there blogosphere. Oh how I tried to resist you....first I succumbed to the stalking thrill of reading other people's blogs, and now I have been sucked into posting my own ramblings for the world to see and stalk as it pleases. But, as John mentioned, I'm very important and was practically begged to join this here blog.

So for my first bit of nonsense, I want to turn to the all important subject of cats. I'm a dog person. I like dogs. Period. Cats--I could do without them. My aversion to cats stems mostly from our childhood devil-cat, Pepper. I just wanted Pepper to be my friend. I wanted to "hug her and squeeze her into itty-bitty pieces!" and throw her over my shoulder and parade her around the house. I wanted to put funny hats on her and wrap her in blankets. I basically wanted to treat Pepper like I did our loving Labrador. Long story short, my brothers called me Elmyra

(yes friends, this is an Animaniacs reference) and the cat hated me. In turn, I hated the cat and most cats I've met since.

So when brother John and my boyfriend decided to get a cat...my first reaction--gross. My mom's ranting about her own hatred for cats only exacerbated the situation. Also, this news came at the end of a week where the office cat, Marigold, had left a pukey surprise on or near my desk every morning. And I had just discovered a tribe of cats living in the vacant house next door to ours.

However, as I was complaining to a coworker, I swear Marigold understood me. She spent the entire day sitting in my lap and loving me, basically trying to prove that her species has some redeeming qualities. I'm not totally convinced, but I am slowly learning to accept that cats are like everywhere I go now. Gross. I mean - fun!

Corporation Expansion

To all of my imaginary audience I have an important and ground breaking announcement to make.  We will soon have a new contributor to our blog.  Yes, I know, all of you have trouble understanding how anyone could improve on my already lifechanging content, but the higher ups have decided that my three week lack of posts is a severe misuse of my time and have gone over my head to bring in a celebrity writer.  You have probably heard of her through her take over of the i-banking world, but world renowned writer and connoisseur of all things awesome Katherine Perry is being brought in to spice things up a little.  I only ask that you not forget us mere mortals in the blogosphere as she captivates you with her electric ramblings about God knows what.

Seriously, I dont know why the bosses brought her on, or what she is going to write about, but I guess we will figure that out sooner or later.  Thats it for now.